Join the PBJ Campus Organizers and the BMoCA Studio Project Interns for a teen-led radical Valentine’s event!
This free event for teens is open to all ages. There will be food, live music, an artist workshop and activity stations set up around the room.
The PBJ Campus Organizers will be running a photo booth to continue their “I Love Myself Because…” campaign and a new project called “Love Is…” Here’s a description of the installation created by Campus Organizer Jen Jun:
“Fun!”
“Bonding!”
“Adventurous!”
The words above are some of the adjectives that Campus Organizers used to describe this year’s Annual PBJ Campus Organizer Retreat. Surrounded by the incredible beauty that YMCA of the Rockies Snow Mountain Ranch in Granby has to offer, the Campus Organizers had a blast!
At the retreat, the Campus Organizers developed their critical media analysis skills, culminating in collages addressing media representations of relationships and sexuality. The Campus Organizers also used the time to make a yearlong strategic plan. Overall, the goals of the retreat were to create a space and time for group bonding, brainstorming and making plans for the year. Mission accomplished!
Check out this short video recapping some highlights from the retreat.
Video made by Campus Organizer, Diego Guttierez!
The Power of ‘Yes’ and Enthusiastic Affirmative Consent
by Jennifer Jun
Trigger Warning: This post contains graphic description of sexual assault.
Anyone who’s been through a high school health curriculum knows that sex education focuses on asking for consent and that no means no (or, you know, “don’t have sex. You will get pregnant, and die,” as the Mean Girls’ coach puts it). No means no. It’s simple.
Yet it seems that people can’t get their head around an idea that’s just as simple: that yes means yes. Yes means yes and that’s the only thing that means yes. Being drunk isn’t consent, flirting isn’t consent, and wearing revealing clothing certainly isn’t consent. Unfortunately, a rape trial in Steubenville, OH last year raised another serious concern: people assume silence is a form of consent for sex.
The victim, a completely intoxicated 16-year-old girl at a house party, was witnessed by several to not even be able to lift her head, nonetheless walk. Two high school boys took the unresponsive girl by her ankles and hands, raped her in a car, then took her back to the house where people started to urinate on the shirtless girl on the ground as a joke. If Jane Doe were sober enough to give consent for sex, she would’ve been able to react to the “joke,” which, of course, she couldn’t. That was the whole point of the joke. Concurrently, her silence during the rape didn’t mean that she consented to it, it meant that she was so intoxicated to articulate a clear refusal.
The boys’ lawyer argued that silence is consent; that “she didn’t affirmatively say no.” Not only is this against the law that going out with someone is not equivalent to consent for sex but it also implies that lack of refusal means yes; that the default in a sexual situation is yes. Newsflash: there is no default. Yes is the only thing that means yes.
Let me make this clear: silence does not imply consent.
The only form of consent should be enthusiastic affirmation, not an enthusiastic negation. There should be a verbally affirmative consent before any sexual activity. The affirmative consent standard is defined as a clear, unambiguous and voluntary agreement between participants to engage in specific sexual activity.
Unfortunately, the current culture depicts sex as a quiet activity, leading to ambiguous ‘gray’ sex. This model lies on two major faulty assumptions. First, one person’s pleasure takes priority over another. Second, that people inherently want to get laid, well pronounced by Robin Thicke’s hit song Blurred Lines: “I know you want it/ You’re a good girl/ The way you grab me/ Must wanna get nasty.” Admittedly a catchy song but not so catchy when it comes out of rapists’ mouths.
The popular objection to enthusiastic affirmation is that ‘it will ruin the mood.’ Objectors claim that speaking out loud and asking if the other is comfortable with whatever you’re doing would just break the spontaneous beauty of it all. Who needs permission when you’ve got a magical sixth sense that you just know what the other people want? Sad to break it to you, but people are not gifted with this supernatural power. We need verbatim communication.
What’s more, just saying no is not enough. If a person is not sure what he or she wants, it’s harder to put the brakes on, ultimately going too far beyond his or her comfort zone. Wait a second, this situation sounds awfully familiar: rape. The “silence is sexy” script is vulnerable to rape culture. This social pressure into thinking that silence is romantic is a weak argument that will “fall apart under even casual scrutiny,” as this blog post puts it.
The oh-so-fragile mood our “silent is sexy” script has built is not a single person’s fault. Our culture is to blame. As a participant in today’s culture, I can’t say I’m not guilty of accepting this script as a norm. However, affirmative consent isn’t a radical or novel idea. Societal change comes from individual changes, and it’s about time we take a step away from the commonly accepted view and reevaluate the convention.
In researching for this post, I have come across several campaigns (links below) that are helping others become conscious of the inevitable need for affirmative consent. My charge to you is this: take a look at these campaigns and think about how you can contribute to this movement for awareness.
Where is Your Line? (http://whereisyourline.org/)
Yes Means Yes (http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/)
Project Unbreakable (http://project-unbreakable.org/)
Consent is Sexy (http://www.consentissexy.net/)
When asked by PBJ Campus Organizers why this community member loves themselves, this person wrote, “I love myself because… I do everything I do with passion.”
Want to be a part of this project? Teens can apply to be Campus Organizers and get involved with this campaign and other PBJ awesome-ness here: PBJ Campus Organizer Application 2013-2014!
Applications are due by January 22, 2014 at 5PM.
Other community members can support this project by liking/sharing our photos or inviting us to attend an event with you!
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It all started with the idea that having self love is the first step in building healthy relationships and communities.
After several meetings and discussions and an awesome retreat, Campus Organizers (members of PBJ) were out on a chilly Saturday morning standing between a guy making balloon hats and a pie stand at the Farmers’ Market in downtown Boulder. With a stack of handbills and some cameras, we got to work. We wanted to challenge people to confront the question- WHY do they love themselves? The response was interesting. Many people were startled that the question was harder to answer than they had thought it would be: many were standing there baffled, not knowing what to write for a while.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think those people were ignorant people who didn’t love themselves or had no self confidence. I think it points out a problem in our society. People are so busy day today with work, expectations, and responsibilities that they don’t have time to truly appreciate who they ARE, not what they have won or earned. I think a person should take more time appreciating the persistence and initiative they have than appreciating the fact that they won first place at a tournament. I, along with the rest of PBJ, believe that the ability to love oneself will allow a person to see the good in others, and thus appreciate the relationship between another person and himself/herself. It is only possible to have a sustainable, loving, healthy relationship if each person loves themselves first.
Fortunately, this campaign helped many people do exactly that today: to reflect on why they love themselves, and how that needs to come first before loving someone else. Once people knew what they wanted to write, their faces lit up and they were so excited to share what they love about themselves.
*Stay tuned! The “I love Myself Because…” photo campaign will launch in January!*
Check out the new awareness campaign that PBJ Campus Organizers are launching!
In light of the flood emergency and the response that is being provided by many of our community agencies, Peers Building Justice will be extending our Campus Organizer application deadline until FRIDAY, SEPT 27th!
We hope that you and your families are safe and finding the resources you need. Click here for one page that has several links to valuable resources.
We send warm thoughts to all those effected by the flood, and we look forward to receiving the last of your applications!
PBJ Campus Organizer Application 2013-2014.
“I got my start about sixteen years earlier at Fairview High School as an Interpersonal Non-violence Peer Educator with the Boulder County Safehouse. Now known as Peers Building Justice, my work with students to help stop dating violence inspired me to pursue an education and career in Social Work,” says Singer.
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It’s that time of year… Our annual Campus Organizer application process has begun! Capacity is limited to apply now!
Please email the application to Renee@Safehousealliance.org or Akemphues@Mhpcolorado.org. We look forward to hearing from you!