Healthy communication is vital to a healthy relationship. Please take some time to read the following steps in order to engage in healthy, respectful and equitable dialogue.

 1) Keep your cool

Learn what calming strategies work for you. Take the time to cool down before engaging in conversation.

– take deep breaths
– count to/from 139 (or another random number that works for you)
– cry
– go into another room
– think of soemthing that makes you happy
– walk away

2) Ask ?’s

Honestly and unaggressively ask questions to learn more about the situation. After hearing your partner’s prespective, you may come to the conclusion that the situation was a misunderstanding.

3) Find out about feelings?

Try to understand how your partner feels about the situation at hand. Make sure you express your own feelings. Make sure to use “I statements” to express your emotions.

“I feel (insert your specific emotion) when you (insert the specific action). Could you please (suggest positive solution to the problem)?

Ex. “I feel embarrased when you repeatedly call me when I’m out with my friends.  Could you please call less, if you know I’m busy“?

4) Work towards a solution

Once you’ve expressed yourself and have also learned of your partner’s emotions, work together to figure out a mutually beneficial solution.